Lines To A Gentleman,

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Lines To A Gentleman,

Lines To A Gentleman,

    

    Who had sent the Poet a Newspaper, and offered

    

    to continue it free of Expense.

    

    Kind Sir, I've read your paper through,

    

    And faith, to me, 'twas really new!

    

    How guessed ye, Sir, what maist I wanted?

    

    This mony a day I've grain'd and gaunted,

    

    To ken what French mischief was brewin;

    

    Or what the drumlie Dutch were doin;

    

    That vile doup-skelper, Emperor Joseph,

    

    If Venus yet had got his nose off;

    

    Or how the collieshangie works

    

    Atween the Russians and the Turks,

    

    Or if the Swede, before he halt,

    

    Would play anither Charles the twa<

    

    If Denmark, any body spak o't;

    

    Or Poland, wha had now the tack o't:

    

    How cut-throat Prussian blades were hingin;

    

    How libbet Italy was singin;

    

    If Spaniard, Portuguese, or Swiss,

    

    Were sayin' or takin' aught amiss;

    

    Or how our merry lads at hame,

    

    In Britain's court kept up the game;

    

    How royal George, the Lord leuk o'er him!

    

    Was managing St. Stephen's quorum;

    

    If sleekit Chatham Will was livin,

    

    Or glaikit Charlie got his nieve in;

    

    How daddie Burke the plea was cookin,

    

    If Warren Hasting's neck was yeukin;

    

    How cesses, stents, and fees were rax'd.

    

    Or if bare arses yet were tax'd;

    

    The news o' princes, dukes, and earls,

    

    Pimps, sharpers, bawds, and opera-girls;

    

    If that daft buckie, Geordie Wales,

    

    Was threshing still at hizzies' tails;

    

    Or if he was grown oughtlins douser,

    

    And no a perfect kintra cooser:

    

    A' this and mair I never heard of;

    

    And, but for you, I might despair'd of.

    

    So, gratefu', back your news I send you,

    

    And pray a' gude things may attend you.

    

    Ellisland, Monday Morning, 1790.

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